Title Directed by
Rating
Times Seen
Troy Wolfgang Petersen 6 1
     My dad is a movie-goer. He loves to see movies. He was one of the first people in our circle of friends to own a VCR. He loves movies so much he made sure it was the best kind of VCR, which in those days meant Beta. He has a kick ass surround sound system and he plays his movies at a deafening volume. When he comes to visit, he always takes me, or Jenica and I to a movie. He'll take us to movies he's already seen, he just loves going to movies. Like father like son of course. With any luck, I'll have access to my website before father's day and this can serve as some sort of tribute to my dad's movie mania.
     My parents both came to visit us in May, and knowing they were coming the week after Troy was released, I asked them to wait until they came up to see it, so we could all go together and enjoy it for the first time as a family. Going to a movie with my mom is always an interesting experience, as she processes things from a very simple worldview. If there is a baby in the movie, that is likely the best thing about the film. The only baby in this movie is Hector's child, who (!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!) ends up an orphan by the end of the picture. My mother's response to this particular plot point was anger at whoever wrote this story. She commented on the way home that they didn't have to do that to the baby's father. I tried to explain that the movie is based on a really old book, but since there was a baby involved, my words fell on deaf ears.
     Likewise, Jenica is fairly carthartic as well, but it was more from the perspective of wife, not mother. I was told on several occasions during Troy that I would "not do that." These words were spoken every time Hector left his wife to go to war, or to go fight Achilles.
     What should this tell us about what women want? Do they want Achilles, the epitome of testosterone laced hubris? Or do they want noble Hector, willing to do whatever is needed to make things right?
      Nope. They want Paris. Not because Orlando Bloom is pretty enough to win the Miss America Paegent, but because Paris stays home. Paris doesn't die, he lives (at least in the film version) and that's what women want. They don't want their man going off to war to prove himself in battle, they don't want him defending their honor if it means his corpse will end up being dragged behind a chariot. As Helen says, "I don't want a hero."
      This of course, flies in the face of everything guys try to be. As adolescents, we try in vain to impress girls by wrestling with our friends. I see it every year I'm at summer camps - girls walking aloofly by guys beating the ever loving shit out each other. Later on in life, men try to go off into battle each day in the workplace to prove their manhood, even if it means working so many jobs they never see their children or spouse. In the end, women don't want that. They want a guy who will be there, even if he's a pusillanimous wimp. Like Paris.
      Now. About the film.
      Troy is to the Illiad what 13th Warrior was to Beowulf. A really powerful mythic piece sucked completely dry of it's essential supernatural elements. Clash of the Titans is closer in spirit to the Illiad than Troy is. All the action of Homer's work is motivated by the presence of the gods. In Troy, they are grossly absent. Since the gods are absent, all the action is motivated by the human characters. As a result, the movie takes on a pseudo-historical aspect. I had a small debate with a friend over this, who holds that in Troy, Achilles is portrayed as being actually invincible. I told him that the movie's secondary world doesn't allow for this. There are no other fantastical elements. When Paris shoots Achilles, it isn't the wound in the ankle that kills him. It's the multiple puncture wounds the subsequent arrows make that finish Achilles off. Everyone's a human, surrounded by legend perhaps, but human nonetheless. And the gods simply don't exist. The characters' dialogue keeps implying this.
      Now, if Troy were the only movie one could make based on the works of Homer, this wouldn't be an issue. But let's just say the money hungry power monkeys of Warner Bros. decide they need to make a sequel...and, "lo and behold, Homer wrote a sequel." How convenient. And yet, terribly inconvenient given David Benioff's screenplay.
     You can do the Illiad without the gods. There's this whole epic battle and a large wooden horse. The Odyssey without the supernatural? The Cohen brothers did it already, but they set it in Depression era America. If the Odyssey was to be made starring Sean Bean (and let's face it, they've set themselves up to be able to do this) based on the universe created in Troy, it's just going to end up being A Perfect Storm set in the Mediterranean.
     All that said...I really enjoyed the movie. Had a great time seeing it. It's got summer movie eye candy, from firm buttocks to massive battles. I could gush about performances, but I thought they were all really solid. Especially Brad Pitt. If I hadn't been going to the gym already, I'd have made a mid-year's resolution and signed up for some serious weight training. And like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, I'm inspired yet again to keep my hair long.

Movie Reflections - Troy

Legend
10
 This movie is in my "top 10 films" list.
9
 I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants because there was no good time to leave the theater.
8
 The kind of movie you see twice and tell all your friends about.
7
 Worth paying full admission for.
6
 Worth seeing.
5
 Could have waited for DVD.
4
 Should have waited for DVD.
3
 Even if I'd waited for the DVD I'd still feel cheated out of the rental price.
2
 If someone ever gives me this movie I'll use the DVD as a coaster.
1
 Kept watching because my arms were pinned and I couldn't claw my eyes out.
0
 Piece of crap.
WO
Walked out.